Friday, December 30, 2016

Mental Health in College + 2017 Goals

Hasn't 2016 been an odd year? I have to jump on the bandwagon here and agree. I had a bigger introspective year than I would have imagined and I realized how important mental health truly is. Not realizing it, I seriously became tired of overworking myself and I also had a bit of a taste of dare I say: depression.

Quick recap of last semester

Overworking myself  + little self care = disaster!

This semester I was really so determined to balance new financial goals and a small but intense course load that I never stepped back to really ask myself if I should do it. Could I do it? probably. Should I have done it? not really.

little bit of back story: I'm about to start my 8th semester in college and I've always worked and been a full time student all throughout college while also making sure to be involved in some way wether it be an organization or volunteering.

This year I really felt a turn in my mental health. Specifically this semester I felt my body [finally] give up trying to balance so many things at once. How did I know? Somehow during the semester these feelings of being unusually nervous started to creep in. My mind would go completely restless and sometimes I would be doing nothing at all and my heart would feel like it was racing. At first there was only some days that I would feel nervous, but then it was more. Days when I would wake up with it inexplicably and other days where it would come and go and the frustrating part of that was not being able to pinpoint exactly what would make me feel that way. As a result I became sad and it scared me even more to think that I couldn't control it. And so the cycle continued.

It's much easier to look back now and think: why did I let myself do that? But when you are so busy on other matters it is too easy to justify the way you are feeling with excuses or on days that it is worse, simply hope it will go away on its own.

I absolutely know now that if i kept going this way i was going to continue sliding into a downward spiral of unhapiness... depression..  I needed a break.

New things and changes

This semester I made the decision to quit my part-time and to focus on school completely. I also decided not to join any volunteering positions as well. It was a hard decision to make for me as I am so used to working and or being involved since my start of college and being busy kept me distracted enough to not have to face my feelings of anxiety during the semester. In this way school ended up being a source of anxiety as well as a comfort zone.

I still feel anxious or nervous at times, but what really helped me the most was talking to those closest to me about it. which has actually been one of, if not, the most difficult difficult thing I have done. Talking to someone is the advice that I most hear and it's said so often for a reason. I didn't have to feel lonely anymore.

Looking Up

I'm looking forward to sharing more college advice here as well as what has helped me manage stress during college. I've learned a lot from my experience in college and I want to continue sharing that on here!

I heard from somewhere that one of the best ways to be productive is to plan your fun things first and then plan the (boring) day to day tasks. Sounds a little counter intuitive but the idea is that these plans (big or small) are motivators to accomplishing those not so fun things like studying and the such. So here I have decided to share my goals for the new year, in spirit of the new year and to lovely things.

2017 Goals

Graduate in December! 🎉
Save up for a graduation trip
Workout weekly
boost my GPA
Git rid of lots of things
Explore new ways to help with anxiety
Try new restaurants
Go on a daytrip(s)
Make sleep a priority
Procrastinate less
Make time to "do nothing"
Sew a dress
Wear the dress I will make
Stay optimistic
Enjoy blogging
Take more pictures

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